Pon Farr For Soul Mates
by talfe'anhar
Summary: What would happen if Spock went into pon farr, mind melded with Jim and passed the pon farr to him? A kind of supplement to my story You Are My Heart. The soul mates become pon farr mates as well. But it's no fun. Rated M because, well, they have sex. But it's not graphic. Based on Star Trek Into Darkness. I own nothing.


Jim woke to the first rays of the rising sun filtering through the sheer curtains on the bedroom window. He looked at the clock. It was still fairly early, around 6:30. He felt Spock's arm around him. His soul mate was spooning him. It felt wonderful, as always, but he had a pressing need to visit the bathroom, so he took Spock's hand to move it off his chest so he could get up. To his surprise, Spock tightened his grip on him.

"Spock, let go of me, I gotta pee." No response. Was the Vulcan even awake? "Spock?" He tried again to disengage himself from the other man's grip. Spock was holding him so tight that he couldn't get loose. _What the hell? _

"Spock, let go of me. Wake up." Jim started to feel a bit of alarm. He went still and listened, both with his ears and with his mind. He could hear his soul mate breathing, and then he felt the warmth of his body. _Ok, he's not dead. That's a relief. But why won't he wake up? _Jim started to kick at Spock's legs, trying to wake him. He kept trying to loosen the Vulcan's hand from his chest. "Dammit. Spock! Wake up!" He reached back with his free hand and tried to hit the other man. He managed to smack Spock on the hip, and finally felt his soul mate stir. But he still didn't let go. Jim snapped his head back, trying to head butt the Vulcan from behind. He made contact, and Spock grunted. Finally his hand loosened enough for Jim to move it off his chest. He turned to face his friend.

"Are you awake?" Spock opened his eyes. "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. I couldn't wake you. Are you alright?"

Spock hesitated, that 'I'm trying to remember' look on his face. "I was dreaming..."

"Hold that thought, I'll be right back." He rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom. Having taken care of business there, he climbed back into bed with his soul mate.

"That was really weird. I've never had you hold onto me so tight I couldn't move."

"I was holding you?"

"Yeah, like you always do, but I tried to get up and I couldn't get loose. What were you dreaming?"

"I do not remember. I apologize for frightening you."

"No, it's OK, I just wanna make sure you're alright."

"I am not certain. If you will excuse me..." Spock left the bed and took his turn in the bathroom. Jim watched him come back into the room. Something wasn't right, but he couldn't figure out what. Spock stopped halfway to the bed and just stood there looking puzzled. Really, it was more like he was worried.

"Come back to bed. It's early. What time to you have to report to the Enterprise?"

"I do not. I took the day off to spend it with you."

"You did? That makes me really happy. So get over here and let's hug, or merge, or something." He smiled at his soul mate. Spock still looked worried. And he was still just standing there. Jim got up and went over to him. He put his hands on Spock's shoulders. The Vulcan suddenly reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace. While it felt wonderful, as always, to be this close to his soul mate, Jim could sense that something wasn't right. Spock felt tense. Jim started running his hands up and down the other man's back in an attempt to sooth him. Spock buried his face in the crook of Jim's neck and inhaled. Then he turned and kissed the side of Jim's neck like he had last night. It was such an intimate gesture... the next thing Jim felt was Spock biting his earlobe. _Ok, now that's something new... _Spock lifted his head, took Jim's chin in his hand and kissed him on the mouth. At first Jim was too stunned to respond, but then he felt something stir deep inside him, and the next thing he knew he was returning the kiss, and there were more kisses. Somewhere in the back of his mind it occurred to him that he was standing there making out with Spock. It was very confusing. Their relationship had never had even the slightest sexual element to it, but Jim realized with a shock that Spock had pressed against him and that he was hard. He was even more alarmed when he realized that he was too.

_Whoa, what the hell is going on here?_ He pulled away slightly. "Spock? What's happening?" Spock seemed to come back to himself and suddenly moved away from Jim.

"I am sorry. I do not know what is happening. Please forgive me." Spock looked completely confused, which matched how Jim was feeling. The Vulcan stood staring at the floor, breathing heavily, clearly trying to get a grip on himself.

"Whatever it is, it's happening to me too." Jim felt an intense desire to be close to Spock, to kiss him again, to press against him, to feel his arousal.

"I beg your pardon?"

Jim closed the gap between himself and his soul mate. He didn't touch him; he was afraid to. "You're sexually aroused. I am too. What the hell is going on?"

"I do not know. I feel an intense desire to hold you, kiss you... it is taking a great effort to hold myself back."

"Me too. Should we go with it, and just see what happens?"

"I do not think we have a choice. The desire is becoming a need, and it is getting stronger."

Jim turned away and pulled the covers back from the bed. He turned and looked at Spock. He could feel the sexual heat radiating from his soul mate. He couldn't take it any more. He grabbed Spock's hand and pulled him onto the bed, and fell onto it next to him. Spock rose up and before Jim even realized what was happening, the Vulcan had straddled him. Spock stopped, closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths as if to steady himself. He opened them and Jim stared into their depths. Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes that had little flecks of copper and gold in them. The pointed eyebrows, the beautiful pale skin with just a slight greenish cast... this was Jim's beloved soul mate, the other half of him, the person he loved beyond all others. Whatever came next, he would accept it, no matter how strange it may seem. Such was the depth of his love for Spock.

Spock started to kiss him again, softly, gently at first, but with growing urgency. He bit Jim's shoulder, not hard enough to draw blood, but definitely hard enough to leave a mark. Jim mimicked what Spock was doing. He bit Spock's shoulder, and heard his soul mate moan deep in his throat. Jim found Spock's ear and traced the delicate pointed contour with his tongue. Another moan, this one louder. He really wasn't sure what to do. He'd never had a sexual encounter with another man, so he called on his experience with women and went from there.

He felt Spock pulling at his t-shirt. He lifted off the bed enough so that the Vulcan could pull it over his head and toss it to the floor. Jim in turn pulled off Spock's shirt and it followed his. They stroked and caressed each other's bare chests, and Spock left a bite mark on Jim's belly. Jim could feel their erections brushing each other and it was driving him crazy, but he wasn't sure what he should do next. They were still wearing their pajama pants. A part of Jim wished they weren't, while another part was glad there was at least some barrier between them. That soon changed. Spock suddenly rose up and pulled Jim's pants off in a fairly swift, easy motion. Should he try to get Spock's pants off as well? He didn't have to. Spock took care of that. Now they were both naked, fully aroused and needing release. Jim was wishing he knew what to do next, but Spock saved him the the trouble when he took Jim's erection into his hand. There was only one thing left to do: take Spock's into his. Spock locked eyes with him and he couldn't look away. As he stared into the eyes of his most beloved, he suddenly climaxed, the orgasm shuddering through him. Spock followed a few seconds later, a noise like a growl coming from deep in his throat. Jim felt warm liquid spill over them, mixing, blending, bonding, this time physical instead of spiritual. The incredible climax was followed by an overwhelming feeling of relief. They released each other and Spock sank onto Jim, resting his head on his shoulder. Jim put his arms around his soul mate and held him close. Neither spoke for a time, but then Jim felt he had to say something.

"OK, that was incredible, but what the hell is happening?"

"I am not certain. But if my suspicions are correct, we are, as you would say, in deep shit."

_xxxxx_

"Well, Spock is right. You guys are both in the early stages of pon farr." Spock's thoughts were a turmoil of conflict, confusion, even fear. How was this possible? Jim was male. He was supposed to mate with a female. Did it have something to do with the soul mate connection?

"Spock. You with us?" he heard McCoy ask.

"Forgive me. I am at a loss to explain this. It does not seem possible."

"Right. I asked you if you think the soul mate connection has anything to do with it."

"It is possible. There is much about the soul mate bond that we still do not understand."

"OK but wait," Jim said from across the room where he was sitting, as far away from Spock as possible. "Your wanting to mate with me is one thing, but why am I in pon farr too? I'm not even Vulcan."

"You do not need to be. I believe that the last time we melded, I was in the early stages and did not realize it. When we melded, bonded and merged, I transferred the pon farr to you. This has happened before, and you do not have to be a Vulcan for it to occur."

"Oh, fuck. What do we do now?"

Uhura, who was present but had been silent, finally spoke up. "Let me get this straight. I'm your girlfriend, your lover, your female lover. But you go into pon farr and give it to Jim?"

"Nyota, you and I have seen almost nothing of each other since we returned from New Vulcan. You have been very busy teaching at the Academy. Please try to understand that this was not something I did to Jim intentionally. I did not know I was entering pon farr."

"How could you not know you were entering pon farr?"

"If I may?" McCoy interrupted. The other three looked at him. "The onset of pon farr is often very subtle. I believe Spock when he says he didn't know it was starting. A lot of times a Vulcan will just feel a little off, but not realize what it is until it really sets in. I don't want you to think the guys are gangin' up on you, Uhura, but you know Spock wouldn't do somethin' like this on purpose."

"Nyota, the doctor is correct. I certainly would not willingly have chosen Jim as my mate for pon farr. We have never had even the slightest sexual attraction to each other. This came from out of nowhere and we were powerless to fight it."

"So are you saying you two have already, ah, had sex?" Bones asked.

"Twice," Jim said. "Once when we first woke up and again in the shower, about an hour later."

"Oh my God," Uhura said. "Twice? Just this morning?"

"Nyota, please," Spock began.

"No! I can't believe this! This is insane!"

"Uhura, don't you think we know that? Jesus christ! This has us both scared to death! We don't know what to do. But we can't fight it. It's too late for that! It's already started."

Spock had been watching Jim as he spoke. He could see that his soul mate was distraught. Jim's eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. Spock felt an almost overwhelming desire to go and gather his soul mate into his arms and comfort him, but he knew he didn't dare. Not right now. They were sitting across the room from each other because they were afraid to get too close, afraid the pon farr would take control. Spock forced himself to look away from Jim.

"Ok, everybody just calm down," McCoy said. "At this point it doesn't matter how it started or how many times you guys have had sex. What matters is how we are all going to work together to help you through it. You too, Uhura. We're their core group. The four of us are a cohesive unit. We have to stay together on this."

Spock could see that Nyota was still unwilling to comply. He didn't blame her for being upset, but he had expected her to handle it better than this. After all, she had agreed to continue their relationship despite the fact that he was soul bonded to Jim. Perhaps she was having second thoughts. It saddened him to think that might be the case, but it didn't change the fact that his first responsibility was to Jim.

"I just have to say something," Jim said. The other three turned to look at him. Spock could see that the tears had fallen, had rolled down his cheeks. He looked away again. He could not bear to see Jim crying and not be able to comfort him.

"I love all of you. Spock is my soul mate. Bones, you're my best friend. Uhura, you're Spock's girlfriend. You're someone I respect and admire. We're a cohesive unit. We're bonded together, not like Spock and me, but bonded. This thing, this pon farr mess has happened to us. It's not something we chose. Uhura, I know you must be getting tired of hearing that but it's the truth. Spock and I did not plan to be soul mates and we sure as hell didn't choose to go through pon farr together. But we are soul mates, and I wouldn't trade that, or give it up for anything. And I'm getting tired of having to apologize for it. Being soul mated to Spock is an incredible gift I've been given. I still don't feel like I deserve it, but I'll be god damned if I'm gonna feel guilty about it for one more second."

No one replied. There was nothing to say, no answer to what Jim had said. Spock felt a great sense of pride in his soul mate for having the courage to speak his mind, to lay his heart open to the group. Jim was right. They had both allowed themselves to feel guilty for being soul mates, knowing there were people who might be hurt by it. They had been through periods where they had trouble enjoying the beauty of their bond because of what other people thought, or might think.

"Jim and I are soul mates. We are bonded together for life and beyond. I love you, Nyota, but if you cannot except what is, then you will have to walk away. I do not wish for you to, but Jim and I should not have to feel guilty for being given this gift."

Jim spoke."To feel guilty about it is a slap in the face to whatever higher power gave it to us." Jim was becoming more distressed by the minute, and Spock could feel the fever starting deep within him. It was time for he and Jim to come together again.

"It is time to finish this discussion. Jim and I need each other. Nyota, are you with us, or not?"

Uhura didn't answer. Spock began to feel frustrated. _Please do not make me lose control now..._ "Nyota, please, I beg you, please give us an answer." Spock looked at Jim. His soul mate was rocking back and forth, his fists clenched, his face pale, sweat beading on his forehead. _There is no more time!_

"Nyota!"

"I'm with you! OK, dammit, I'm with you." She got up and started for the door. Spock hated for her to leave under these circumstances but it could not be helped. McCoy jumped up, grabbed his medical kit and followed her. Just before he went out the door, he spoke.

"Don't kill each other. Try to keep me informed if you can. Good luck." The door closed. Spock heard it lock. He jumped up and all but ran to Jim, yanked him out of the chair he'd been sitting in, picked him up and carried him to the bedroom.

_xxxxx_

The next five days were a nightmarish blur of fever, sex, pain and exhaustion. They couldn't sleep; they'd completely exhaust themselves satisfying their uncontrollable need for each other, collapse into a feverish doze, then wake up an hour or two later burning with insatiable desire again. Jim was covered with bites and bruises. Spock wasn't quite as bad, but he had his share of bite marks and green bruises on his body. They were dehydrated, and they were both losing weight from expending so much energy and not eating. They'd planned a moment when they would be between episodes and McCoy had brought over some sort of drink for them that was super high in nutrients and electrolytes. He told them that if they didn't want to die or spend the rest of their pon farr at Starfleet medical, that they'd better drink the stuff. It was difficult to think of anything but each other, but they did manage to follow the doctor's orders.

The fever spiked a few times, making them feel as if they were burning alive from the inside out. They stood under a cool shower together, trying to quench the fever, only to end up in each other's hands again. There was no time to enjoy any of it, and Jim was glad of this. He didn't want to remember this ordeal. Because that was what it was. It wasn't fun. It was painful, confusing, exhausting, humiliating. This was not how he wanted to be with his soul mate. There were times when he would cry, even while in the throes of a climax he'd been desperate for, because he felt like he was abusing Spock. Like he was raping him. They were abusing each other with absolutely no control whatsoever. The pon farr forced them to use each other for their own carnal need, and made them hate themselves for doing it. This was not fun. It was Hell.

_xxxxx_

Light. On the other side of his eyelids. Noise. The sound of someone breathing. Pain. In almost every muscle in his body. Scent. The smell of sweat and bodily fluids. Spock opened his eyes. Judging by the sunlight flooding in through the window, it was late morning. The last pon farr episode had been... he looked at the clock... almost five hours ago. Up until now they hadn't gone more than about two hours between them, usually more like one hour. Spock lay back for a moment and took inventory of his senses, his body and mind.

He was in pain, yes, from bruises and bite marks on his body, and also from sore muscles. But his head felt clear. His body was not screaming at him to satisfy his need for his mate. He felt at peace. He felt like himself again. He rolled onto his side to look at Jim. His soul mate was sleeping, peacefully it seemed. Gone was the pinched look Jim had whenever he slept, which had not been much. Pon Farr had tormented them even in their sleep; _wake up, wake him up, use him, put out the fire..._ but the voice was gone. In it's place was a low, pleasant hum which Spock finally identified as their souls resonating together. For days they had been out of tune, discordant. Joined unwillingly in body but separated in spirit. Spock had not felt it in so long that it took him a moment to realize what it was. Moved to emotion, he swallowed hard. Then he tentatively put his fingers on Jim's face. He felt no resistance, no blockage. He knew that if he initiated a mind meld that Jim would be startled awake, so he stayed on the surface, just deep enough to feel Jim's peaceful sleep, his calm dream state, and his clear mind. It was over. Pon Farr had passed, and they had lived through it.

Jim's eyes fluttered open. Bluer than the Terran sky, deeper than any ocean, crystal pools of love, trust and hope, those exquisite eyes looked at him and filled with tears. Spock's eyebrows drew together ever so slightly.

"It's over, isn't it?" Jim asked. Spock could hear what Jim thought but didn't say: _Oh God please say it's over!_

"It is over. We survived pon farr, together."

Jim began to cry. Spock gathered him into his arms. He heaved a sigh of relief. There was no gnawing need to ravage his soul mate with bites and bruises. No uncontrollable desire to copulate. There was no sexual desire at all. It was bliss.

Jim spoke. "It's gone. It's all gone. I can hold you and feel your soul, your love, our bond. I was starting to think I'd never feel this again. I couldn't stand it that I was using you, hurting you, but I couldn't stop. I'm so sorry."

"There is no need to be sorry. As you stated, neither of us could control what was happening. Did you not say, at the start of pon farr, that you refuse to feel guilty about our bond? Refuse to feel guilty about this as well. No one could have fought it. It is over. Let us try to forget it and move forward."


End file.
